


māhana (twins)

by gladdecease



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010), Heroes (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Doppelganger, Gen, Mistaken Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 19:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: there's no such thing as too much Masi Oka. (Though Danny might disagree with that sentiment.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	māhana (twins)

**Author's Note:**

> The Japanese is in kana because I'll take any excuse to write in it; translations can be found by hovering over the text.

It was a grisly scene - half a dozen cars spread out across the road, some smouldering wrecks, some only tipped on their sides, all of it visibly a mess even from a distance. HPD had set up a block a half mile on either side of the accident, and somebody, obviously a new recruit, had tried to divert the Camero to the detour civilians were taking. Steve'd had to flash his badge at the guy to get through, something which was amusing Danny for reasons Steve couldn't understand. If it were any other day, he'd take the time to ask why, but if HPD's suspicions were right and this accident was related to the explosives smuggling Five-0 was investigating he didn't have time to joke around with Danny just now.

They pulled up at the edge of the scene and spotted Max immediately, hovering over one of the cars, peering at the twisted metal inside. Something about the way he stood pinged at Steve's instincts, but he couldn't quite pin down what.

"Hey, Max," Danny called as they approached him. "What've you got?"

Max tilted his head sideways, muttering something under his breath. After a moment of contemplation, he squeezed his eyes shut, frowning, and tensed up all over.

Danny shot Steve a confused glance. He shrugged. There were times when you just couldn't explain Max.

Still, this was no time to be messing around. As Danny wandered off to talk to one of the CSIs covering the scene, Steve put a hand on Max's shoulder. He'd only intended to shake him out of whatever zone he'd fallen into, and was a little surprised at the yelp of surprise he got instead. Max pulled away from him and turned around, wide-eyed. "Max?" Steve said cautiously, feeling Danny's attention focus in on the two of them. "You okay, buddy?"

"ええ? Max...?" Max asked, peering up at Steve, who was abruptly aware that this _wasn't_ Max Bergman, ME. Not with the shock still present at the corners of his expression from just looking at a couple of wrecked cars. That his accent turned the ME's name into something more like "Macks" than "Max" just made it all the more obvious. Not-Max's face fell. He looked down at himself. "「Max」いって、ぼくに？　ぼく、インビジブルじゃない？　まだだめだった？"

...okay, Japanese. Steve could do that. His Japanese wasn't _that_ rusty, right? Pulling not-Max away from the cars, he racked his memory for the right words. "あんた、Max Bergman じゃないですね。"

The guy brightened up at the sound of Japanese. "うんうん、ぼくは中村広。" He looked torn between holding out a hand to shake and bowing, but Steve took the decision out of his hands by grabbing a hand and shaking it.

"Steve McGarrett."

"よろしく！"

"よろしく。" Steve looked over his shoulder, saw Danny making a face at him, and quietly signaled that he was taking care of it. "中村さん、どうしてここにいますか？　これは．．．" Steve frowned. His Japanese was rudimentary at best, and definitely had no words for 'crime scene' in it. "もしかし、英語わかりますか？"

Nakamura winced and waved a hand in mid-air. "あぁ、ちょっと。"

"Okay, I can work with ちょっと. This is a crime scene, Mr. Nakamura, and unless you witnessed the crime, you shouldn't be here."

"Eh? But the policeman..." Nakamura gestured helplessly towards one of the distant HPD officers. His accent was incredibly thick; it was hard to believe an officer would miss that. But if he only knew Max by his face, and Nakamura didn't speak... Steve thought back on that officer who hadn't recognized him and wondered.

"He probably mistook you for Max, you hold a very strong resemblance to him."

"そうか？" Nakamura muttered. "ぼくは二重身が　―　あぁ、その人？" He'd perked up, pointing at a figure approaching them. It sure as hell _looked_ like Max, but Steve had thought the same thing of Nakamura before he opened his mouth. Danny, standing equidistant from the two look-alikes, had spotted Max and pulled a painful looking double-take, and was now just looking between the two of them, hopelessly lost. Steve jerked his head at Danny and he made his way over, still obviously confused. By the time he'd gotten there, Max had gotten close enough to recognize Nakamura's face, and had come to a dead stop. Nakamura was equally still, staring at Max.

"The hell is this," Danny muttered, "a soap opera? Are they clones?"

" _Clones_?" Steve repeated, staring at Danny.

He shrugged. "Hey, with Max I'll believe just about anything. So, what, are they clones, long lost twins, what?"

"Got me," Steve said in an undertone. "Apparently, one of HPD's guys just let this guy onto the scene, didn't even talk to him."

"And talking would have helped how?" Danny glanced up at Steve, curious.

"The guy's got an accent as thick as concrete," Steve said. "If I didn't speak Japanese I wouldn't have even gotten a name out of him. As it is, that's about _all_ I got."

They watched as Max slowly approached his double, who matched him step for step. They tilted their heads to one side at the same time, hunched over to peer at each other at the same time, and even went to adjust their glasses simultaneously. They jerked back, startled by the identical motion, and even made the same little gasp in doing so.

Danny rubbed at his forehead tiredly. "Okay, Max, that's enough with the mirror trick, alright? You two are giving me a headache here."

Max muttered a quiet "Sorry." Unfortunately, so did Nakamura - also at the same time. Danny groaned, covering his face with a hand. Steve had to cover a smile of his own, which nearly turned into laughter when Max and Nakamura pulled the same nervous expression in the face of Danny's irritation.

"So, Max," he asked after taking a moment to recover his composure. "You think you can get anything out of him?"

Max blinked up at Steve. "I think you overestimate my knowledge of Japanese, Commander. While I do know some, the majority of it is from anime, not from any actual study of the language."

"Anime?" Danny asked.

"Japanese cartoons," Steve said quietly, "and not the point." He ran a hand through his hair, thinking frantically, and sighed. Nakamura might seem sincere, but Steve couldn't trust that he was telling the truth. And really, was he supposed to believe not a single HPD officer or CSI had noticed 'Max' acting oddly? "Okay, Max, get back to your bodies, we'll talk to you later. Danny, see if you can get a translator down to HQ, I think we're gonna need it. Mr. Nakamura, you're with me."

"あぁ、はい！" Nakamura smiled, trotting after Steve like a puppy, before pausing to turn and wave at Max. "じゃね、二重身さん！" Max waved back, uncertainly, before dashing off to inspect one of the bodies. Danny, already on hold, smirked at Steve and followed him to the car. Nakamura had already slid into the back seat and was just buckling himself in when Steve started the car and drove towards Five-0 headquarters. Steve didn't know why Danny found the tiny panicked noises that escaped the man amusing, or why Nakamura was so shaky when they reached HQ. Nakamura just moaned "早すぎいい" under his breath. Then, as they were entering the building, he frowned and said, "あの、マクガレットさん？"

Danny made a face, mouthing 'makugareto' to himself. Steve did his best to ignore it, saying, "Yeah?" as he led Nakamura to one of the slightly more inviting interrogation rooms.

"何年ですか？"

Steve blinked. Several times, actually. "何年？" he repeated.

"あぁ．．．　はい。" Nakamura smiled up at him. If he was trying to reassure Steve that this was a perfectly ordinary question to ask, it didn't quite work.

"What, what'd he say?" Danny asked, looking between the two of them. Steve had a feeling one of his so-called faces had made a reappearance. He sighed.

"I think he just asked me what _year_ it is."

Danny groaned, hand flying to his temple in a way that said his headache was coming back in full force. "Oy vey."


End file.
